This should be my wellness blog instead

my arm is very itchy. it's very aggravated today and it gets itchier at night

very annoyed.

I find it very ironic how my life is repeating past events.

how i feel, what i'm going through, my skin problems.

back to me whining about my skin issues,

i am really very annoyed.

I've had eczema, rashes, allergies, insect bites, chicken poxes and even fungus on my skin before.

And now, history's repeating -___- ughh

What's weird for the current attack is that you can't see the allergies/fungus. You can only feel it.

Only after you put the medicine can you see red the red spots.

Reminded me of something -

Just because you can't see things, doesn't mean it isn't there.

Doesn't mean that it doesn't hurts, doesn't bring you down.

It just makes things harder for the affected person. Harder to pinpoint the problem, to do something about it.

Also, it makes it harder for others to notice and help along.

And then, when you've already pinpointed and started curing the problem,

initials stings and results affect us the most.

but,

it gets better. the condition will usually get better. we will be better,

things will be better.

It will be alright, then.

So till then, i guess all we gotta do is hang on and cling to hope (or anything to distract our mind from wandering into negative abyss) .

Yeah,

no matter how annoying it might be and will be,

I guess things will be better sooner or later.

c'est la vie.

p/s: written under influence of drug (that is not powerful enough to knock me to sleep and overcome itchiness)

another kind of ache

This is another kind of hurt,

a different kind of ache -

the urge (ache) to be accepted.

or,

the opportunity to run away from the urge, need, want, desire.. and the necessity of acceptance.

suffocation

I think I just figured out why I've been shopping (and want to shop) so much last year-

it's because when I shop (or have shopping on my mind), it keeps my mind occupied; it keeps my depression at bay.

suffocation

life, why are you so hard?

you make an almost mature young adult drown in their own thoughts and fears.

but then, if life was easy, would it still be considered as 'life'?

parts and parcel you say? c'est la vie?

screw you, i need more money to shop more.

blab blab

The purpose of this post is, i miss blogging ._________.

I see all those people who blog about competitions, events, competitions at events, etc etc etc.. and I think to myself, 'damn, I'd like to be one of them D:'

Sadly, I'm not a known blogger and all :(

... Anyways!

I also wanted to say that I'm itching for a new ink! But I'm stuck on what I want and the design :/

I wanted a white 'Fearless' tatooed on my left middle finger, but after looking at pics and talking to people, I think it'd be abit off :x

What to do, what to dooo..

On a side note, Acai Berry is good, it makes you poop better. Honey+apple vinegar is awsm too!

Oh, konnonya both have anti-aging properties. lol.

Yes, I am trying hard to turn natural and healthy in order to loose the extra weight I've put on.

Therefore, I shall end this post with this -

I Hate Cellulite (especially on thighs).

Good night all!

when you're drowning medicine like booze

today, i blog differently!

a more casual post, about well, the first Friday of December 2010.

and in this post, i will state two very important things;

1) i should've bought those earrings

2) i should've bought The Melancholy adventures of Oyster Boy and other stories

yes, those earrings were not that cheap and are heavy and i probably won't wear them at the end.

yes, the book was not that cheap either.

but, the earrings are so pretty and unique and the book, (Y)!

And yes,

I dedicated a blogpost to my shopping desires.

which subsequently leads me to saying this..

i need a job, fast. ..or money, without the job, will do too.

ps: my lungs, they do not love me no more :( it ain't funny dear person up there, it really ain't. I just want to get well soon and eat my Pepper Lunch and Char Keow Teow. kthxbai.

ps2: hello panda, thanks for today. it made the day so much more bearable and lovely.

growing pains

mel·an·chol·y Noun /ˈmelənˌkälē/

Causing or expressing sadness

it's not exactly fun to feel so, but yea.

this sudden pang of mixed emotions emerged (or rather, re-emerged) all from one thought;

being in a conscious state of denial.

I do not want to grow up.

I want to live in my fairytale world till time stops.

But that's not possible.

Sometimes I wish I was simpler. I've always admired those who are not clouded by thoughts; they seem happier.

No offense, but I think it's true.

And it isn't a bad thing, most of the thoughts that run in my head are more often than not a tad nonsensical.

Alright, maybe very nonsensical la. lol

Point is, it's usually when I sit down and think about life and what-nots that I get melancholic.

Like today, when how one day we'll all grow up and work and be drifted apart from those we were once close too and then, that'll be our life..

Maybe the reason I'm so emotional about this is I sincerely think I have a sad childhood-

I'm 20 and I can't get out of the house without having my mother at my back.

Guys and girls of the jury, it ain't a fun job.

I take on a pretty hefty responsibility being the eldest and honestly, I don't mind.. or rather, I wouldn't mind if I had more freedom and appreciation. I think I do a pretty decent job of being a good daughter..

So why can't I just have my fun huh mummy?

Why can't I have my mamak sessions? Why can't I have my nightlife? Why can't I have my casual 'just-feel-like-going-out-so-i-went-out moments? Why can't I date?

Why can't I have my fun before I grow up?

I'm not blaming my mum or anything, I just want to say that we're all growing up too fast.

I want to savour being a reckless young adult before stepping foot in the real world, before working.

But hey baby, you've given me a glorious fairytale to live in, You really did, I thank you so much. In regarding to this post.. I just want to be able to live in this happy ending, for ever.

19112010

epic-ly wonderful

Taylr Swift - Last Kiss

I still remember the look on your face
Lit through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whisper for just us to know
You told me you loved me so why did you go away?
Ooh, away

I do recall now, the smell of the rain
Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane
That July night, The beat of your heart
It jumps through your shirt I can still feel your arms

But now I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is,

I don't know how to be something you miss

I never thought we'd have a last kiss
I never imagined we'd end like this
Your name forever the name on my lips

I do remember the swing of your step
The life of the party, you're showing off again
And I roll my eyes and then you pull me in
I'm not much for dancing, but for you I did
Because I love your handshake, meeting my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets
How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something
There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions

And I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is

I don't know how to be something you miss

I never thought we'd have a last kiss
I never imagined we'd end like this
Your name forever the name on my lips

Mmm

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
I hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed
You can plan for a changing, the weather and time
But I never planned on you changing your mind

So I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss
I never thought we'd have a last kiss
I never imagined we'd end like this
Your name forever the name on my lips
Just like our last kiss
Forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips
Just like our last

Hello, new favorite song after Almost Lover. Back To December is after this.

Speak Now

Taylor Swift's new album Speak Now is out,

it just breaks my heart for some reason.

Nonetheless, it's a good hurt i think

Back To December, Enchanted, Last Kiss, Long Live