another kind of ache

This is another kind of hurt,

a different kind of ache -

the urge (ache) to be accepted.

or,

the opportunity to run away from the urge, need, want, desire.. and the necessity of acceptance.

suffocation

I think I just figured out why I've been shopping (and want to shop) so much last year-

it's because when I shop (or have shopping on my mind), it keeps my mind occupied; it keeps my depression at bay.

suffocation

life, why are you so hard?

you make an almost mature young adult drown in their own thoughts and fears.

but then, if life was easy, would it still be considered as 'life'?

parts and parcel you say? c'est la vie?

screw you, i need more money to shop more.

Speak Now

Taylor Swift's new album Speak Now is out,

it just breaks my heart for some reason.

Nonetheless, it's a good hurt i think

Back To December, Enchanted, Last Kiss, Long Live

one of those days

on days like this,

i just feel like like hell.

on days like this,

i just feel so self-conscious.

i see others, and just think to myself 'hey, i'm not pretty? i'm not pretty.'

on days like this,

i scoff at freedom, acceptance and justification. those are but myths in my life.

i know some may question me out of concern but i am a young adult with a sane mind, why can't i do what i want?

on days like this,

inconsideration angers and amazes me so much that i got indigestion.

i know i have my own bad qualities, but at least i try to be as considerate as possible.

on days like this,

i wonder why and how i place myself in situations where i don't benefit.

do it for the sake of others? yes, but how many of you are actually capable, and be happy of that?

on days like this,

i wish i was a fucking billionaire

or have the freedom, time and job to be one.

on days like this,

the only consolation is the sound of raindrops.

even so, it doesn't help much because,

on days like this,

i'm breaking down.