Causing or expressing sadness
it's not exactly fun to feel so, but yea.
this sudden pang of mixed emotions emerged (or rather, re-emerged) all from one thought;
being in a conscious state of denial.
I do not want to grow up.
I want to live in my fairytale world till time stops.
But that's not possible.
Sometimes I wish I was simpler. I've always admired those who are not clouded by thoughts; they seem happier.
No offense, but I think it's true.
And it isn't a bad thing, most of the thoughts that run in my head are more often than not a tad nonsensical.
Alright, maybe very nonsensical la. lol
Point is, it's usually when I sit down and think about life and what-nots that I get melancholic.
Like today, when how one day we'll all grow up and work and be drifted apart from those we were once close too and then, that'll be our life..
Maybe the reason I'm so emotional about this is I sincerely think I have a sad childhood-
I'm 20 and I can't get out of the house without having my mother at my back.
Guys and girls of the jury, it ain't a fun job.
I take on a pretty hefty responsibility being the eldest and honestly, I don't mind.. or rather, I wouldn't mind if I had more freedom and appreciation. I think I do a pretty decent job of being a good daughter..
So why can't I just have my fun huh mummy?
Why can't I have my mamak sessions? Why can't I have my nightlife? Why can't I have my casual 'just-feel-like-going-out-so-i-went-out moments? Why can't I date?
Why can't I have my fun before I grow up?
I'm not blaming my mum or anything, I just want to say that we're all growing up too fast.
I want to savour being a reckless young adult before stepping foot in the real world, before working.
But hey baby, you've given me a glorious fairytale to live in, You really did, I thank you so much. In regarding to this post.. I just want to be able to live in this happy ending, for ever.
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